Missing Fathers

As I sit here late at night before I go in and join Abby for bed (this is what we do when one parent is away), it strikes me that there are several fathers missing from this picture at the moment. Fortunately, the one nearest and dearest to me, Jim, is only missing in that he is on a plane over the Pacific Ocean on his way to San Francisco and ultimately to Charles Town, WV, for his father's memorial service. It was hard to see him go today. I miss him and the children miss their father. But they are the lucky ones.

Jim and his four siblings are missing their father in a different sort of a way. This weekend they will say a final goodbye to him......being the Harris family, there will be lots of laughing along with the goodbyes and the tears. They are wonderful that way. But all of them will now be adults in this world without one of their parents, and that is hard.

And then there's my father, who has been missing for a long time now. My brothers and I are so lucky to have had a loving father come into our lives after the original one died so young, but, still, the loss of a father is the loss of a father, and you're still a person in the world without a father no matter how you look at it. It takes adjusting and your life is never the same....it can be as good but never the same kind of good..

Jim said it so well last weekend as we lovingly and tearily looked at a slide show he put together in his father's honor. As we looked at image after image of Bart's offspring...5 children and 12 grandchildren, who could really argue that it's not the natural progression of things? A man produces such wonderful things and then, someday, maybe too soon, but someday, it's time to leave and let the next generation do its thing.

So there is sadness and there will be joy. This weekend there will be celebration of the joy Bart had in his life and the joy he brought to others. Next Tuesday there will be joy in Paekakariki when Jim returns. And there is joy for me in knowing that my father, though he didn't live long enough to see it, produced people whose lives are so wonderfully blessed.