Time Spent

As I sit wondering what happened to the time spent in NZ, I am reminded that all of our time is precious and special. Even the stressful times we have (I didn't really have many [any?] in New Zealand) are a chance to be introspective. I hope I can remember that sentiment when school starts back up and I am coaching, teaching four classes, doing dorm duty, getting the kids to their own practices, trying to be a good father/husband/friend, and all the other things that take away our time, which is life at Peddie.

I feel especially introspective tonight for a few reasons: 1) I haven't written a blog in a while, though I have given thought to a few different ones, 2) We are back from our home away from home and life feels different (or is it just me?), 3) The whole family went to see my late father's wife, Carol, for two days, so the end of time was apparent (not for me, but for him), 4) other things, but I can't think of them right now. I'm afraid that I will also not take much time for the blog tonight, but I do have more in the works.

There's a small thunderstorm outside tonight. It is the first thunderstorm I have heard and seen in four months. It seems like such a long time ago. I didn't realize that I hadn't seen one in NZ, though there is plenty of rain and there are plenty of storms.

One of the first things that struck me when I got back was how much time it took me to cross the street. There were so many cars on the little main street of Hightstown, I wondered where all the people were coming from and why they were seemingly trying to compress so much into so little time. In Paekakariki, if more than two cars passed by at any one time it was a lot. Still, Paekakariki is only 1700 people. It was also a blistering hot day here in America, so I think people were coming back from or going to the beach.

It also takes a longer time to get things here. More people, bigger stores, farther distances, and longer lines. It makes sense, but it is another thing I will have to readjust to. It does take less time to travel from place to place (without traffic) because the roads are MUCH faster. The highest posted speed limit was 100KPH (62MPH), with construction zones being 30KPH (18MPH). If you're trying to get from point A to point B, those faster speed limits are better. However, the trucks go that fast, too! By the way, if you are concerned about the price of gas here at $4.00/gallon, when converted the price of gas in NZ is USD $6.06.

It took no time for our friends to find us, and that felt really good. It always nice to find that the people that are most important to us will take the time to spend the time. One might say that because summer is here it is easier to spend the time (true), but it is really about the friends prioritizing their time. We found that to be so true of the people down under, and I am happy to have friends here who feel the same way. In fact, the kids had a play date not far from here, and the pace was as relaxed as NZ, no worries. Thanks Shani for the conversation and lemonade!

Unfortunately, because Carolyn didn't work, really, for four months, she is finding that time didn't stop just because we were away. She has so much to do, with so many balls in the air, that her time, and my precious time with her, is limited. It will settle, and I will get used to it, but it still feels like a shock and like an unfair robbery of my time.

Finally, if I had done half of what I did, both professionally and personally, in twice the amount of time, I would still feel like it was all time well spent. I really have a better understanding of myself, that's not always a good thing, I feel like I know my kids and Carolyn so much better, and I feel like I will be better with my time in all that I do.

I made so many friends in the short time I was there. I saw so many things, and, to be corny, I had the experience of a lifetime and won't be able to process fully for a long time. I will have so much to add to this blog as time goes by. I look forward to learning more about myself and what it means and to taking the time to try new things in the classroom. Unfortunately, I am now out of time because I am still tired from the trip and must sign off.

I miss it heaps, but I am happy to be home to see my friends and family.

Winding Down

Those of you who regularly follow our blog may have noticed that we’ve been strangely silent as of late. I’ve noticed it, too, and I can only say that, for me, it’s been a case of my being firmly planted in a state of denial about the impending end of our beautiful journey. I have been quite sure that if I sat down to write anything at all these last two weeks, sooner or later the topic of our leaving would pop up…..and I’ve been determined to live the last few weeks as fully as possibly, not focusing on the huge hole I feel developing in the pit of my stomach and not wanting to write something that would feel like a huge bummer for all of you to read! And yet, it’s been creeping in anyway. I’ve also not known exactly how to express the joy I’ve had, the love I’ve developed for this place (and exactly why, because it’s hard to put into words), and just why it is that I feel such sadness and confusion about leaving. But it’s time. The last two mornings I’ve lain in bed, wide awake, listening to the waves, the wind, and the birds, thinking….it’s time, and so I might as well let it in.

As I got to this point in the blog entry, I had to take a break and go out for what has become my regular morning walk on Paekakariki Beach and through Queen Elizabeth Park. This morning there was a strong Southerly (a wind that comes form the south and, as a result, carries very cold air!) and a storm was coming in, but I could still see the moon in one direction and the colors of the sunrise in the other. Yep, it was beautiful even on this less than perfect morning. When I finished my walk, I stopped to contemplate the sea, the end of our journey, and the ways in which these four months have touched my life so beautifully. I noticed how through the mostly gray, cloudy sky, there was a place in which the sun was illuminating a rock face on the South Island, making it look as though it was glowing. Pretty cool, I thought. As I got up to head back to the house, I saw that there was yet another rainbow out over the sea and the tears started to flow again. How will I manage without my morning walks and my rainbows? How will I manage to feel my soul filled up when I don’t have all the sources of beauty around me to which I’ve become so accustomed? Why right now, when we are beginning to feel like this is a place we really belong, do we have to leave? In some ways it seems so wrong. In others it is what has to be for now. There is so much I love at home as well.

The last few weeks have been all about living the Kiwi life as best we can. We have taken long walks and bike rides on the beach; gone to hear our dear friend, Melissa’s band play at a birthday party at Memorial Hall in Paekakariki; taken the family to Friday night Kapahaka dancing (traditional Maori singing and dancing held every Friday night at Memorial Hall); gone to a local cinema to see a NZ movie called “Second Hand Wedding,” featuring our very own Kapiti Coast and co-starring our very own yoga instructor, Tina; gone to a going away dinner thrown by some new Kiwi friends of ours where we ate, laughed, and played pool; helped our dear friend, Jennifer celebrate her 38th birthday among heaps of friends; and attended numerous weekend soccer games for our kids. All of this has made us feel a real part of this community, making it ever harder for me to leave. I’m so grateful for the love, warmth, and welcome that everyone has shown us here. I’m grateful for what I’ve been reminded of----that life doesn’t have to be a rat race and that the most important things in life are the simple things. Family, time to relax, being close to the beauty of nature, and spending time with loved ones.

While I know that it’s up to me to create and nurture the things that feed my soul, I also know that it will take lots more work to find and keep connections with those things back in our wonderful, but busy and relatively far from nature lives back home. I am coming face to face with a basic fact of life----that in order to experience joy, we must also experience sadness and loss. I’m grateful that I am brave enough to seek the joy despite the knowledge of the sadness that will surely follow. I’m grateful to my loving and supportive family and friends for loving me through it all.

So that’s the blog I was avoiding writing. There you have it. And now we put our chins up, enjoy the last few days, and begin focusing on all the wonderful people and things we have to go back to. Did I mention our life there isn’t half bad either?


Pictures in the entry are of 1. family last sunday morning on a beach bike ride near our house, 2. one of the many rainbows we've seen from our front door, 3. inside the cinema where we saw the local Kiwi movie last weekend, 4. friends at Jennifer's birthday party last weekend, 5. sunset over the sea--view from Jennifer and Michael's front window

So What's the Big Deal?

As of 5/15/08 there are some new thoughts at the end!

I imagine that when reading these blogs, that many/most/all who read it have a hard time believing that what we are expressing can be true. Is this just simply about being in a new place and away from the normal stressers of life? Certainly the pictures are beautiful and the stories interesting, but is it really all it's cracked up to be? I guess I don't know, for sure, but there are a number of differences that make what we are experiencing both wonderful and irreplaceable. So, with this difference in mind, Carolyn and I began to make a list of these things that are things we've taken to calling "typical Kiwi." The following list is not exhaustive nor in any particular order and will be added to periodically, so you may want to come back to this blog once in awhile. Some have already been mentioned in other blogs.

1) Language - Yes, they speak English, but a true Kiwi is sometimes very hard for me to understand. Although I have been told here that I talk too fast (that's also true in the states when I'm excited, for sure), I cannot, for the life of me, understand more than 50% of a phone message. In fact, there have been a few that I have given up on because it is just too frustrating.

2) The Toilet (Carolyn things that bathrooms in general are a good place to begin when trying to get a feel for a new culture) - We call them bathrooms. They are everywhere in this country. They must have more public toilets per capita than any other place in the world. They are clean, always well-stocked, and in virtually every town we have come to. If a town doesn't have one you are welcome to use one in the restaurants and cafes. One that I used today in Paraparumu Beach had a check list of the things that were cleaned and when. They cleaned the toilet at 6:00 AM. The items checked were commode, wash basin, floor, walls, and CEILING. Yes, they washed the ceiling. I should have taken a picture of the check list for this blog, but didn't. You'll have to trust me. In case you are wondering, the toilet paper was stocked in the PM, no specific time given. Oh, the toilet flushed automatically, the sink came on automatically, the soap came on automatically, and the hand dryer came on automatically. Their were no paper towels, it's a waste. They can also flush in two ways. One side of the button is to flush pee, it uses less water, the other uses more water. It makes a lot of sense.

3) Playgrounds - they have what I consider the most dangerous playground item ever invented. We think it's called the flying something-or-other, but I would name it the child decapitator. It is dangerous in itself because the child is raised above the ground and spinning around, but the real danger is that little kids seem not to be able to see the decapitator coming as they gleefully race closer to the thing to see what the other kids are doing! I have seen at least two children get hit so hard by this thing that I couldn't understand how they got up. I exaggerate, but it scared me to watch the hits happen. The picture speaks for itself. Kiwis in general are more sensible and less PC about things that could cause injury, and in most ways this is refreshing. Playgrounds still have seesaws, for example (read...fewer lawyers and less lucrative lawsuits). I loved those growing up. We sue, they don't - therefore we no longer have the seesaw, they do (you can see one end of one to the left in the picture.

4) Driving - they are on the left, as you know. This is the easy part. The more challenging thing is the abundance of windy roads with no guardrails. I'm pretty sure Kiwis simply don't believe in them...wimpy. No lawsuits is probably another part of it! Every now and then, on a REALLY windy road, you may see something that resembles a guardrail, but it's really made from fishing line and bamboo poles or something very much like it! We believe these rails are probably designed to keep the sheep (not the people) from getting killed.

5) Electricity - there are switches on the plugs so you can turn them off is you are not using them. They look just like the light switches here, so there is no confusion. It's also 240, so if you get something stuck in one of those you're pretty much dead. Guess how many times we've thought we were making toast only to come back from making something else to find that the bread is still bread.

6) Food - a friend of ours calls this the a-la-carte country. You have to order everything separately. For example, in order to get fish and chips, you must order fish and chips. If you order fish you get fish, if you order chips you get chips (French fries). In most of the places you pay before you get your food. There is no tipping, unless you get incredibly exceptional service, and there are no added taxes. So, if you order fish and chips for 12.5 (12.50), that is exactly what it costs. So, when you first come here it seems like food is expensive, I'll write about that in a minute, but it isn't really when you add up what it would have been in the U.S. (they call it America, but they can't tell you why). Did I say you usually have to pay for ketchup (which isn't good anyway, so you really don't want it) and things like plastic ware? Once you get used to it, it's really quite sensible (see, there's that word again), as it keeps you from having 5,000 extra ketchups and salt packets shoved in your food bag that you then throw away! Kiwis tend to be pretty conservation focused as a lot.

7) Grocery stores - there are only really about 3 store chains, Pak-N-Sav, Woolworth's (no, not the dime store), and New World. Although there isn't any scarcity of items, there is the mentality that if they are out of an items this week then come back next week if it is important to you. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Produce is very fresh and very affordable. Other items are variable in terms of costs. Mostly, when I first came here, I thought all the food was outrageously expensive. Now I've rethought it. First off, it's so much fresher and wholesome than we get. I believe they don't actually stuff all of their foods with corn additives (read "fill them up cheaply"!) like we do. You get produce that's in season, so it's always good, but not always available. Did I mention "sensible"???

8) Gas - Wow, I figured out today that it is about $7.00/gallon NZ. That's just under $6.00.gallon U.S. We don't drive very often if we don't have to. In fact, we borrow a car from some friends once in awhile, but don't use one more than once or twice a week. We rent a car for the other occasions when we need one at about $40.00 NZ plus gas. When we shop (read Carolyn ,thank you dear) we try to get enough for the week or we have friends pick items up for us as we do for them. It's a great way to go, I think. Sensible.

9) Sports - Rugby, Rugby, Rugby, Cricket, Soccer and Netball. Did I mention Rugby? I'm sure they have basketball, but I have not heard anything about it. Last Friday night we went see the Wellington Hurricanes rugby team play in the second to last regular season game (last home game). It was a must win for them. If they won, they were assured a semi-final spot in the playoffs. It was a blast, though very cold, windy, and raining, which is pretty typical this time of year. We sat in the family seats, which means we were sort of under cover but not really. Layers and waterproofing were the name of the game. WestPac Stadium seats 35,000, but there weren't more than 20,000 there. The Hurricanes are a pretty good team. They beat their opponents, Western Force from Perth, Australia. I'm used to seeing 60 guys on the field or on the sideline in American football, but these teams only carry 22 players. Interesting, too, for this league, is that each team is made up of hometown boys. It is not made up of recruited players who get traded around as it is for our pro teams.

Speaking of local sports, the kids all had their first soccer game yesterday, playing for the Paekakariki local teams. No pictures of Abby because the camera man stayed with the home team. I don't understand Cricket at all, so I won't try to explain it, even if I could.

10) T.V. - nobody has watched T.V. since they have been here, except on the few nights when we stayed in a real hotel (as opposed to a simple youth hostel type place) on our travels. What little Kiwi television I have seen has been pretty...hmmm...hard to explain. I watched Wheel of Fortune Kiwi style and was amazed by how low the money values were. There was one game I watched when the highest dollar value you could win was $500.00. I haven't watched it in the U.S. for a long time, but the minimum was $500.00. I like the lower one. There are so many things to do OUTSIDE that they kids have never felt the need or desire to watch T.V. We are seriously considering getting rid of the cable at the lake and just have movies. That's what they like the best anyway.

10) Weather and other sort of related things- Weather here is a spectator sport. It is NEVER idle conversation. When they talk about the weather, which is literally unpredictable, the meteorological talk is about lows, highs, southerlies, wave fronts, winds (which have been huge), etc. There are a number of people who rely heavily on the weather for their livelihood... and for surfing, of course. The cloudbursts are legendary, though I have not seen any here like the ones I saw in Texas, though there are more than enough stories from trusted Kiwis to know that Texas storms come close, but not quite all the way. Don't worry Texas, you still beat NZ in the tornado department. Not with earthquakes, however. I'll just say that you can go to a NZ website that shows you where all the rumbles have been for the day. Also, when you first work in a place they inform you of the evacuation area in case of a quake.

I have seen more rainbows in my time here than I can remember seeing in my life. These are not just rainbows that you can see only part of like every other rainbow I have seen. There have numerous occasions when I have wanted to stoop down and pick up the pot of gold... on both ends of the rainbow. Pretty incredible.

11) Insects and other multi-legged things- Well, not quite. First, there are no snakes here. Also, if I remember correctly, there is only one poisonous spider and it is rare. There are no native mammals, everything here has been imported. Possums, stoats, rabbits, sheep (12 million), cows, horses, rats, mice, etc. There are now lots of all of them. The first couple of species were brought here by the English so that they could feel more at home here and so they could hunt. They now spend millions of dollars a year attempting to eradicate them. It turns out that these hometown mammals are destroying the crops and the native bird species. If you recall from another entry, we have to heat our house with wood because they don't have central heat or very much insulation. We also don't have screens because, it is said, there are no insects here - besides the flies, bees, moths, and the most frustrating biting insects I have had the chance to encounter. We need screens when it is warm! Mosquito bites are not really much fun ( I haven't gotten any here), but the itching goes away fairly quickly. The sand flea bites leave what look and feel like permanent bumps that each itch in-di-vid-u-ally. Fortunately they only itch at night when your trying to go to sleep. The fleas are probably the only negative I will take away with me on this trip, though, in the grand scheme of things, that's not really that bad.

So, that's all I can think of for now, but I know there are many others to come. Of course, the themes for most of our blogs have been the incredible beauty, literally at every turn and over every hill, the kindness and the patience of the people, and the low stress life that can be led here. We thought you might appreciate a little culture this time!

Home is Where you are.

I have been thinking a lot about a lot of things, but most specifically about the memorial service for my dad. I haven't quite thought of all that I want to say yet, so that will come soon. It is amazing how far away it feels. Maybe because I am far away. I have recently been thinking about him and about the family. I'll get back to you.

Today's blog from me (Jim) is video viewing. This entry is a tour of the house as requested by my sister, Dee. I will also be entering a video of a Tui with a couple of pictures on another entry. This video is about 6 minutes, so if you are not interested in the house, don't watch. It's not terribly exciting, but it will help give everyone a sense of our nest here. I hope you enjoy the video as much as we enjoy this house. There is a coziness and familiarity about it that helps me (and us) to feel comfortable being in our home away from home. Today it is a beautiful, sunny day with a temperature of 60 degrees Fahrenheit (15 Celsius). There has recently been a bunch (heaps) of rain, which has been welcome because they were in a little drought. We also had a very cold night the other night for a house without central heat. People adjust and burn everything that should and can be burned. Here, if they can't save the wood to reuse from a demolished structure they will cut it up into burnable sizes. It seems like a great way to reduce waste, save the environment, and put less stuff in the landfills. It's a far cry from the early days here when they cut down every tree in sight, it seems, so they could pack things up to send back to England. They are slowly replanting.

Anyway, enjoy the video.

Yet more excitement

Each day in this quiet, wonderful town seems to bring more excitement than I would ever expect. Dolphins a couple of days ago, new bird species for me (Carolyn is excited for me!) and local people visiting our house.

One of the great things that the house provides is a wood burner (a fireplace) to keep ourselves warm on cold nights. It really hasn't been that cold yet, so we haven't had the chance to use it. Tonight we did. Tonight we met the local Fire/Rescue (The Fire Brigade). Nothing serious, but I think the chimney has not been cleaned in quite some time. We lit a fire as we have done 100s of times growing up, and the neighbor came by to say that there were flames coming out of the chimney. We doused the fire, the neighbor panicked and called the fire department and we got this picture. Sorry it isn't better. I wasn't close enough to them all. The kids were really excited... so was I! We were disappointed that there was no fire to enjoy, but are glad of the chance to meet the neighbors.

It's a wonderful life

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What a whirlwind life has been. After a 1.5 hour drive to JFK, 3.5 hour wait for the plane, 6 hour flight to LAX, 3 hour layover, and a 12.5 hour flight to NZ (pronounced EN - ZED), I was toast. Even with a Tylenol PM I didn't sleep for more than three hours total. Even though I generally don't sleep very well, 3 hours is still not much for me. Maybe it was because I expected to get no sleep that I didn't (the NZ portion of the trip is the one I most dreaded). It didn't help that I felt really sick four or five hours into the NZ trip. I think I had a bad piece of chicken. I woke up feeling really queasy. I had a cold sweat, my skin was clammy, I was shaky, and at it's worst I saw a flash of purple. It felt like I was going to pass out. I never did, not did I vomit, but, wow, it sucked. One of the flight attendants gave me a cold cloth and it felt better. After four hours of undulating recovery I felt almost new. I didn't have much to eat, though. Note to self, drink many more fluids while flying half way around the world.

So I arrive in NZ, must recheck my bags (backpack, camera, 46 pound bag, and an 83 pound bike box [thanks Chris]) and hurry up to wait in the international airport in Auckland that is much smaller than I thought it would be. If you look at the previous blog you will see the end of the trip to the Wellington airport. Boy did that feel good. It still does.

Upon arrival, and in order to keep me awake, we did a "small" tour of Wellington. This tour included a ride up the tram to the Botanical Gardens, a great playground for the kids, a view of the harbor (see previous post and the picture of all of us) and a stroll through the rose garden. It also entailed getting lost, driving back to Paekakariki, and getting stuck in some really bad traffic due to construction. It is my understanding that traffic doesn't happen here like it does in America. I pushed through dinner, which consisted of a wonderful baked honey and oat bread, fresh caught tuna on the grill, tasty salad, Kiwi beer, and incredible company hosted by Jennifer and Michael. I was able to stay awake until 9:15. Sleeping until 7:15 was nice! Day two was a nice walk on the beach, to the dunes, to "the rocks" (pictures to follow), and a nice dinner at home. Carolyn really is as good a cook as I think she is. I was again in bed before 10:00 and woke up at 7:00ish.

I missed home a little. It's not so different here that I feel lost, but it is different enough to feel unfamiliar. Home is familiar and comfortable, NZ is not...yet. The major theme of my trip is to experience the unfamiliar; to try things and think about things in a different way. To think about myself in a different way. I know I have written this before, but tough noogies, you're going to see me write this a lot. On the next entry you will get a look at my first dad/sabbatical opportunity to get into experiential education.

The first picture you see is of Kapiti Island. On a map it looks so small, and I guess that it is, but it dominates this area. It's a cool thing to see outside the window of our house. The next picture is of a great young woman I met on the flight to LAX. She is from NYC and is engaged to a New Zealander. She really helped me transition from USA to NZ. I thought she needed to get a shout out for her incredible kindness and help getting me through to the new world. I still need , but don't worry, I won't have an entry for each day to write about day three. (no promises) Wow, it's a wonderful life!