The Next Adventure is About to Begin

The bags are packed, I think, and will be looked through again tomorrow.  We have said many fair wells and goodbyes, and we will be leaving at noon tomorrow.  It's hard to believe that we will be in a New Zealand winter in a few days and the kids will start another school year in less than a week. 

They have all graduated from their various schools and will be moving on.  Becky and David will be going to Paekakariki School as year 7s(?), the school they attended in the spring of '08 (it was fall in NZ), and Abby will be a year 10 at Kapiti College.  All three will be entering the school in the third quarter, then will do the last quarter of this school year and the first two of the next school year.  Kinda weird but cool!

They have all grown so quickly and have their mother's good looks!  We're hoping they will get involved in extracurricular activities.  They all want to be a part of the restart to the Wellington Lacrosse Association, so we will see what happens. 

I feel like I will really miss my family and friends, but feel so much support from all of them.  Thanks and we will be back in June of '13.  Be sure to check back, as I hope that we will make regular entries to keep you up to date.

Almost home

As I await bedtime the night before departing for the US…..I realize this is the 4th time now that I’ve experienced the pre-leaving NZ blues. I have just completed my 3rd return to this beautiful place since we lived here as a family in 2008. This trip was much the same as the other 2 return trips over the past year, yet it was somehow different. I’m not sure whether it is the growing familiarity of the trip itself, the certainty that I’ll be back twice more this year, or the fact that we are now actually homeowners in this country that has made it different. The other times, I’ve felt a sense of urgency to do all the things I wanted to do to re-experience the time when we actually lived here. This time it was like being home in some ways. Spending a day alternately lounging around the house and going out for a walk on the beach seemed just fine.

Yesterday Abby and I took a walk next door to Campbell Park where I ran into the tenant who lives in our house. We chatted. He told me how much he loves the house and Abby and I told him how much we loved it, too. Earlier this week, as we took an after dinner walk on the beach, we ran into some people we knew when we lived here and they said “oh, hi….did you guys really ever leave?” In many ways, it seems like we belong here. Each time, I long more to be here permanently yet as time goes on, I also feel less of a sense of urgency about it. I know this place and our house are here for us. They’re waiting and so are we.

A few highlights of the week. I so enjoyed spending this time alone with Abby. We went to our old haunts in Wellington, we ran on the beach, Abby went to school while I worked (one boy at school declared his love for her), the others welcomed her, she was choreographed into multiple dance numbers at Aidan, Naomi, and Ayla’s dance class....and I even went swimming today! We had dinner at Jennifer and Michael’s friend’s house in Wellington (one Kiwi, one Brit, and 5 Americans). Tomorrow we will spend our last day in Wellington walking through the Botanical Garden, bungie jumping, and, yes, shopping.

We have missed the rest of our family and wish they could be here with us. Becky and I are hatching a plan for us all to come here next spring (or is it fall? Which hemisphere are we in?). I feel so grateful that we have this place. Until next time.....

Pictures are of: Abby and Naomi playing in the sand today after boogie boarding; Abby in Wellington; Abby in the Aukland airport; sunrise out the back of the house on our first moring here

Bittersweet

Another wonderful trip to New Zealand is coming to a close. The feeling of bittersweet is becoming a familiar one to me as these journeys become a regular part of my life. As I sit here on the Air New Zealand flight, after a fitful but adequate nights’ sleep, we approach San Francisco. San Francisco’s not bad, but it’s not Paekakariki. No place really could be. There’s nothing like going to bed and waking up to the sound of waves beating against the shore. Nothing like watching the sunset over the South Island. Nothing like watching the kids play with gaggles of kids next door in Campbell Park after a Kapa Haka performance in Memorial Hall on a Friday night. It’s all so idyllic. And I suppose that’s why we’re buying a house that we have no immediate intention of living in. Because it’s beautiful and because we can. Even if it makes things tight for us over here, knowing we have an investment in a life over there is somehow comforting….

A quick report on the trip. The kids had a blast going to school, hanging out with old friends and the beloved Miss Flighty (the Year 4 teacher at the Paekakariki School), playing with Aidan, Naomi, and Ayla, sleeping late, and eating yummy fresh eggs, cheese, butter, and tasty NZ carrots (David ate a cheese omelet every morning we were there!) And as my friend, Jennifer says, it’s pretty good when you’re sad to leave the place where you are and also anticipating getting to the place you’re going because there are people in both places that you love and who love you. As we head home, we have two people waiting for us whom we missed terribly and love beyond belief. We’re coming, Jim and Abby. We’ll be home soon…..until the next trip.

Pictures are of: Kapiti Island with big waves on a windy day; a late afternoon view from Paekakariki Hill; David and Aidan still in swim gear at the top of Paekakariki Hill; Becky and Ayla at our NZ Halloween make-up party; David and Becky near Memorial Hall after the Kapa Haka show

fun in nz

nz has been so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey its becky .we have been doing so much stuff.Naomi DavidAidan and I went booge boarding down the campell park hill.i wish you knew how much fun nz is.i went to lindalle and got fizzies ,te papa in wellington,we went bike riding,we went to the school and met the teacher that we are having for school Miss Flighty who is very very very nice (but one thousand times).David and Aidan went swimming in the freezing cold water brrrrrr.They also went to cubs and made fires in cans.I also played with Naomi and Aidans nintendo DS's.

Pictures are of view out the front window of the Bergers' house (which, by the way, will be very close to the view we get from our new house). Big waves in front of Kapiti Island. The other is of the kids helping Michael blow out the candles on his birthday cake. See the view out the window in the background? Nice.....

Tramping with the little elves

This country is so beautiful, partly because it's just so beautiful but partly because it's so darned diverse. The weekend that was going to be an all girls' overnight tramp to a hut a couple of hours from here turned into a weekend of rain. But it cleared today, somewhat. What started as a somewhat rainy, windy day by the sea became a sunny, almost warm day as I approached Wellington on the train. Then, as we drove north toward Kaitoke Reserve, north and inland from Wellington, the skies moved from overcast to sunny as the clouds raced across the sky. Did we need our rain gear or our bathing suits? It was hard to tell. That's New Zealand, as far as I can tell.

The pictures here are of the hike we took in one of the few remaining old growth forests in this part of the country. It also happens to be the place where the little elf scenes were filmed in Lord of the Rings (Rivendell)

The day ended back by the sea, like this.....

And now, as I get ready to go to bed, I'm looking at the moon setting, fiery orange, out over the sea. Ahhhh.....

Look, Becky, Abby, and David...I got the fizzies!!!

Next time maybe you can come get them yourselves!

Love,

Mommy

Coming Home.....well, sort of

Yesterday I arrived back to one of the most beautiful places in the world, and with the exception of four important things (Jim, Abby, Becky, and David), I felt like I had come home. By the time I'd been in Paekakariki just an hour or two yesterday, it was as though I'd never left. Melissa told me that when she walked into the house and saw me for the first time, she almost didn't feel like she had to say more than "hello" because...why should she? She just saw me yesterday, right?

Although I'm mostly here because of a really cool piece of work I'm doing with my dear friend and colleague, Jennifer (who is lucky and/or smart enough to live here), I built in a few extra days. Today was mostly about getting over jet lag, but luckily, I don't suffer from jet lag too much, and so....I had a fabulously wonderful day. When I visit places I've been before and loved dearly, what I mostly like to do is go on a little revisiting tour of places that were part of my life. So I woke up, hung laundry, went for a run in Queen Elizabeth Park with Melissa, ended up in the Village for a cup of latte, came home and took a shower, went to Paraparaumu to the Pac 'n Sav, where I bought the store out of my favorite yogurt mix, came back, did a little work, walked into the village to look for fizzies fort the kids, came back, cleaned up the kitchen, and went to pick kids (not mine, but very familiar ones) up at the Paekakariki School, came home, made snacks, went for a swim, and began to fix dinner. It was a whirlwind version of my typical days here a year ago when we were living those blessedly wonderful months of our lives.

People at the school recognized me, some said hi, some looked at me funny as if to say "you're not supposed to be here," others hugged me and said "welcome home." A few kids asked where Becky, David, and/or Abby were. It was familiar. And I longed to have my family with me.

I miss you, family. Everywhere I turn, I think of you. You were supposed to be with me today when I swam. When I went to the village to look for fizzies. I was supposed to pick you up from school. Jim and I were supposed to go for a bike ride in QE park. Here is so beautiful, but you are my home. Hey....any chance my home could take a detour over here???? Just kidding.

Happy Holidays from the Harris-Coughlin Family

In the novel, A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens described the Harris family’s 2008 to a tee. He wrote, “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times… it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…” Maybe in retrospect that describes every year, for everyone, but it seemed especially true this year for us.

So that we can end on a happy note, we’ll start with the worst of times. Jim’s dad died at the age of 78 on April 1st after having been diagnosed with lung cancer in January and suffering a collapsed lung three days before Carolyn and the kids went away for a “little trip,” (more on this later), from which he never really recovered. All of his children got a chance to see him to say goodbye before he died, and that has helped Jim to plod through this grieving time. Enough about that…

The best of times was truly that….an amazing and life altering trip to New Zealand. Jim was awarded a sabbatical after ten years of working at the Peddie School; not wanting to fritter away this rare time off, we packed up the kids and moved to the most beautiful country in the world for four wonderful, relaxing, reinvigorating months. Our dear generous friends, the Garvey Bergers, welcomed us with open arms, helping Jim to secure office space at the New Zealand Center for Educational Research, helping the kids get settled into the small Paekakariki School, providing us a place to live, and most importantly, providing all of us with unconditional friendship and a lifetime of memories. Jim learned a bit about experiential education in NZ, but truthfully, what he really learned about was BIRDS! He took over 6000 pictures and identified over 300 birds, culminating in a professional quality slide show that he’s shown to friends and loved ones alike! The kids learned that kids in NZ are a lot like kids in the U.S., enjoyed going to a small school where playing on dangerous playground equipment is required, homework comes in sane quantities, and shoes are optional at best. Carolyn learned how to relax and to live without cell phone or blackberry. While the kids were at school, Jim and Carolyn spent long leisurely days together, bike riding, walking, and just hanging out. As a family, we went on several very cool trips, did lots of biking and hiking, lived in the outdoors, and generally got reacquainted with what it is like to live a life that’s not filled with hectic schedules and consumerism. In short, it was pure bliss. If you have the time and the wherewithal, feel free to read on in this blog for more details of our NZ adventure.

And then there’s the not best and not worst of times….just life as it is. Some highlights follow….

It has been amazing watching the kids grow. Abby, the consummate entertainer, now in 5th grade, is really becoming a young woman, rather than a girl. Becky in 2nd grade, the ever observant one, has gained a lot of confidence in herself and is constantly analyzing the world around her. David, also in 2nd grade, is our passionate and intense child; he has discovered that he can run really fast and that is all he wants to do. Fortunately, Jim has convinced him not to expect his father to run with him all the time! All of the kids read voraciously, all of them love to sing, all of them love to be outside, and all of them live and love life to the fullest. Needless to say, all of us sleep really well, too. What we really see in them is three great kids whom we love dearly. The independence we have been teaching them sometimes comes back to bite us, but they so want to do things on their own, and often do those things well that we can’t help but encourage them.

Speaking of running, this year saw a very particular “best and worst time” for Jim. With the support of Carolyn and his two best friends at school, and fresh off of many months of more than usual physical activity, he ran a sprint triathlon in September. It was a ¼ mile swim (in Peddie Lake, yowza!), a ten mile bike ride, and a 5K run. The swim felt like the most difficult part, though it shouldn’t have been. He got kicked early, tightened up, and never gained on anyone. The bike ride was fine, but the roads were slick from the rain. The run was killer, with his right calf cramping up about halfway in. In the standings he didn’t fair very well, but the victory was in the finishing!!!

The last exciting thing (we hope) to happen this year was the addition of the adorable Pango (pronounced Pon-gu…it means “black” in the Maori language of NZ), a 3 month old Golden Doodle puppy, to our family on Election Day 2008.

Returning to normal, American, high stress life has been challenging for all of us, although Carolyn has had the hardest time readjusting. Must be her Wyoming roots!! Mostly, though, we’re grateful for the chance to have done something incredible as a family and to have created lifelong memories. We are truly blessed.

We wish huge blessings for each of you, as well, this Holiday Season.
Jim, Carolyn, Abby, David, Becky, and Pango

Pictures are of the family near Milford Sound in NZ and of David, Becky, and Abby with Pango at the Lake

The Simple Things

Hi this is Becky.Inthe first picture is Abby,David,Pango,and me.In the second picture is Laz,Dad,Mom,Becky,Abby,and David.

In the last picture is our new doggy Pango.The other one is David and Abby and me down by the Lake last night with Pango. David has his wet suit on because he dared himself to go in the water but he ended up only getting his feet and his head in! There is ice on the Lake!

OK, now me, Carolyn. It doesn't take a genius to notice that it's been nearly 6 months since our last posting...back then we were fresh from 4 lusciously relaxing months in New Zealand. We're so grateful for that time we had...what a gift. Life back in the US happened to us gradually, thank goodness! Being at our Lake house for 2 1/2 months was a perfect transition. It all seems so long ago now.

Seems like life has been moving at 100 miles per hour since the second we set foot back on Peddie School soil in September. Of course, we arrived home from the summer at the last possible minute, as is my style...why face the unpleasant now when you can put it off for a couple more days??? Is it possible that I once thought of myself as a fully organized, fully planned, fully together sort of a person? If ever I did, I've liberated myself from that story at last! But I digress....

Most of the fall was the typical busy-ness of a family with 3 elementary school children and two working parents...soccer practices, soccer games, girl scouts and cub scouts, Princeton Girl Choir for Abby. For the first time I felt full on the reality of how hard it is to live at a boarding school when you have multiple school-aged kids and a working spouse. Night-time dorm duties, twice weekly mandatory family style dinners, football practice and games, Saturday classes--these all made it very hard for Jim to participate in the kids' daily lives and when we layered on my being out of town working for a full 3 weeks plus many odd overnights over the course of two months, it was chaos. So we are (or rather I am) feeling a bit torn about whether this life is sustainable. Juxtaposing it against life in NZ makes it hard to be objective, but then again, NZ has given me a new standard against which to measure....I vacillate between telling myself that this is reasonable and knowing that it's unrealistic and going back again to the notion that realistic is just another way of saying "limited". And feeling limited is not a good place for me to be. So we talk and wonder and who knows what's next. Perhaps more of the same, perhaps not.

Just as things were promising to calm down (around the beginning of November), we got a few surprises. The first is pictured in two of the three photos above. Pango, pronounced Pongo [ go here http://translator.kedri.info/ ] with a soft G sound (which means "black" in the Maori language) joined us rather suddenly on election day. The kids briefly talked about naming him Obama, but we figured that would be a very popular name, so we thought again. Pango is a 3 month old Golden Doodle (mix between Golden Retriever and Standard Poodle). He's adorable and also takes up LOTS of time. Jim does most of the heavy lifting, but I'm still trying to get used to things like not being able to set anything on the floor without the fear of it being chewed up! Pango is, however, one of the "simple things" I refer to in the title above. He's anything but easy, but supremely uncomplicated.

On November 7th, 3 days after we got Pango, a not so simple thing happened. I got a call from my step dad saying my mom was in the hospital for the third time this year. After being released several days later with no diagnosis, she was back in a week later with slightly different symptoms. A week and two trips (for me) to the DC area to visit her in the hospital, she is back out, still with no satisfactory diagnosis. This, of course, has been both tiring and evocative of all kinds of emotions for me. Aging parents (but wait, my parents aren't old! really, they aren't), how to approach increasingly complex medical issues, dealing with my own and other family members' emotions and ways of coping with it, wanting my mom to be upbeat and hopeful when that's really hard. Anything but simple.

So, we quickly threw together an uncomplicated Thanksgiving. First, Jim's lifelong friend, Tom Lasley, who now lives in Grand Cayman, came over for a short visit (he's also in Princeton with his aging mom). Picture above with weird hats and marshmallows in mouths is a long tradition with this crazy friend! We ate dinner with Jim's sister's family and his mom, then came up here to our favorite escape...our Lake house. It's cold, so we have a fire, around which we've eaten most of our meals and played simple board games. We spent much of today outdoors raking leaves, throwing rocks onto the iced over lake to see how far they'd go and how much they'd crack the ice, and watching our new puppy marvel at life outside of Peddie. I do that, too.

The Ones That Didn't Get Away

Today was a fantastic day! I woke up at 3:30 to get ready to go to Barnegat light to go fishing. Yes, 3:30 AM! It was a little painful but, in retrospect, well worth the bleary eyes. As you can see, I brought home two Stripers (Striped Bass), which were feeding on (hitting on) Bunker fish. I caught one and Dick caught the other. Bunkers are bait fish that jump in the water as they move from place to place. Under normal circumstances they are unhurried and are seen by the leisurely splashes they make as they travel. When they are being chased by fish, however, their splashing looks entirely different. As my friend Dick said, they look like they are being chased by something. So that's what were looking for, stressed fish.

We got on the water at 5:10, motored out through the inlet, and by 6:15 we were out into the ocean. It was an incredible morning - crisp, light breeze, and the sunrise was pink and orange, as the sunsets were in NZ. (A side note, anyone who knows me knows that I love NJ. It's not NZ, which is much more beautiful from top to bottom, but NJ has mountains [they just happen to be part of the Appalachians which are millions of years older than many of the mountain chains of the world], beaches, and an internationally known pine forest, known as the Pine Barrens. I know, I know it also has Newark, Camden, and Trenton, as well as the industrial port complexes in Elizabeth and other difficult scenery to observe, but it is still a place to be proud of. The not so nice places are here so those of you who are not serious about NJ will see them, turn around, and leave.) Not until we were getting off the water at noon or so did we see clouds. It was a good day to be alive.

So anyway, when we saw the schools of Bunkers, we would take the boat to them, cast out a line with only a hook on it and then yank that hook through the water. At first, I was not pulling hard enough. I got the idea when Dick said I should not be afraid of pulling their lips off. That made sense. I didn't pull any lips off, but I was then able to catch my own bait to attract Stripers. Pretty simple, really, but not always successful. Still cool to do.

So when we hit our first Bunker school, I yanked the line, hooked a Bunker and then 30 seconds later I caught my first Striper ever. I'm thinking, I'll go back home with five years worth of fish at this rate. I didn't really, but it was amazing how fast it all happened. It turned out to be 40 pounds and 44" long. That's a lot of fish. It also turns out to be my only keeper, but there is more to tell in a minute. A few minutes later, Dick got a hit, but it came off the line (called a run-off because the fish runs with the bait and then comes off the line). He then got another run-off not long after and it wasn't even 7:30 AM yet. At about 9:00 AM Dick hooked a Striper that turned out to be 35 lbs. and 42" long.

Then we stopped getting hits from the Bunker, as did most of the other fishermen in the area, and decided to troll for awhile. This is when you put line out behind the boat and let the boat move the line through the water (as opposed to casting the line out and waiting for the fish with the engine off as we had been doing) and in a short time I caught an estimated 6.5 foot, 125 pound Thresher Shark. We wanted to throw it back from the beginning, but almost had to keep it because we couldn't get the hook out (in this case a Bunker spoon, which is like a huge spinner if you do lake fishing), which, if left in, would kill it. As we were pulling the shark up the hook popped out of its mouth and it went free. It was an awesome sight, unfortunately we don't have any pictures. No, this is not one of those fish stories. If you look at a picture of a Thresher Shark you will see that it has a really long tail. It uses that tail to bash its prey. When we were bringing it up we had to be cognizant of that tail or it would have bashed us. Three or four times it bashed the side of the boat and it sounded like a gun going off. It made for an especially exciting experience.

Finally, and most importantly, you see a picture of my friend Dick. He was a chemistry teacher at Hightstown High for 30+ years, retired from there and then worked at Peddie for a couple of years. In my life, he is one of those people who, when I met him, felt like a life long friend and compatriot. He is one of the nicest guys I know, he is also a great teacher, a great friend, a great husband, and great person. He is one of the people I missed the most while I was gone. I am really glad I had the chance to catch up and go fishing on his boat with him. This was an awesome day!!

Time Spent

As I sit wondering what happened to the time spent in NZ, I am reminded that all of our time is precious and special. Even the stressful times we have (I didn't really have many [any?] in New Zealand) are a chance to be introspective. I hope I can remember that sentiment when school starts back up and I am coaching, teaching four classes, doing dorm duty, getting the kids to their own practices, trying to be a good father/husband/friend, and all the other things that take away our time, which is life at Peddie.

I feel especially introspective tonight for a few reasons: 1) I haven't written a blog in a while, though I have given thought to a few different ones, 2) We are back from our home away from home and life feels different (or is it just me?), 3) The whole family went to see my late father's wife, Carol, for two days, so the end of time was apparent (not for me, but for him), 4) other things, but I can't think of them right now. I'm afraid that I will also not take much time for the blog tonight, but I do have more in the works.

There's a small thunderstorm outside tonight. It is the first thunderstorm I have heard and seen in four months. It seems like such a long time ago. I didn't realize that I hadn't seen one in NZ, though there is plenty of rain and there are plenty of storms.

One of the first things that struck me when I got back was how much time it took me to cross the street. There were so many cars on the little main street of Hightstown, I wondered where all the people were coming from and why they were seemingly trying to compress so much into so little time. In Paekakariki, if more than two cars passed by at any one time it was a lot. Still, Paekakariki is only 1700 people. It was also a blistering hot day here in America, so I think people were coming back from or going to the beach.

It also takes a longer time to get things here. More people, bigger stores, farther distances, and longer lines. It makes sense, but it is another thing I will have to readjust to. It does take less time to travel from place to place (without traffic) because the roads are MUCH faster. The highest posted speed limit was 100KPH (62MPH), with construction zones being 30KPH (18MPH). If you're trying to get from point A to point B, those faster speed limits are better. However, the trucks go that fast, too! By the way, if you are concerned about the price of gas here at $4.00/gallon, when converted the price of gas in NZ is USD $6.06.

It took no time for our friends to find us, and that felt really good. It always nice to find that the people that are most important to us will take the time to spend the time. One might say that because summer is here it is easier to spend the time (true), but it is really about the friends prioritizing their time. We found that to be so true of the people down under, and I am happy to have friends here who feel the same way. In fact, the kids had a play date not far from here, and the pace was as relaxed as NZ, no worries. Thanks Shani for the conversation and lemonade!

Unfortunately, because Carolyn didn't work, really, for four months, she is finding that time didn't stop just because we were away. She has so much to do, with so many balls in the air, that her time, and my precious time with her, is limited. It will settle, and I will get used to it, but it still feels like a shock and like an unfair robbery of my time.

Finally, if I had done half of what I did, both professionally and personally, in twice the amount of time, I would still feel like it was all time well spent. I really have a better understanding of myself, that's not always a good thing, I feel like I know my kids and Carolyn so much better, and I feel like I will be better with my time in all that I do.

I made so many friends in the short time I was there. I saw so many things, and, to be corny, I had the experience of a lifetime and won't be able to process fully for a long time. I will have so much to add to this blog as time goes by. I look forward to learning more about myself and what it means and to taking the time to try new things in the classroom. Unfortunately, I am now out of time because I am still tired from the trip and must sign off.

I miss it heaps, but I am happy to be home to see my friends and family.

Winding Down

Those of you who regularly follow our blog may have noticed that we’ve been strangely silent as of late. I’ve noticed it, too, and I can only say that, for me, it’s been a case of my being firmly planted in a state of denial about the impending end of our beautiful journey. I have been quite sure that if I sat down to write anything at all these last two weeks, sooner or later the topic of our leaving would pop up…..and I’ve been determined to live the last few weeks as fully as possibly, not focusing on the huge hole I feel developing in the pit of my stomach and not wanting to write something that would feel like a huge bummer for all of you to read! And yet, it’s been creeping in anyway. I’ve also not known exactly how to express the joy I’ve had, the love I’ve developed for this place (and exactly why, because it’s hard to put into words), and just why it is that I feel such sadness and confusion about leaving. But it’s time. The last two mornings I’ve lain in bed, wide awake, listening to the waves, the wind, and the birds, thinking….it’s time, and so I might as well let it in.

As I got to this point in the blog entry, I had to take a break and go out for what has become my regular morning walk on Paekakariki Beach and through Queen Elizabeth Park. This morning there was a strong Southerly (a wind that comes form the south and, as a result, carries very cold air!) and a storm was coming in, but I could still see the moon in one direction and the colors of the sunrise in the other. Yep, it was beautiful even on this less than perfect morning. When I finished my walk, I stopped to contemplate the sea, the end of our journey, and the ways in which these four months have touched my life so beautifully. I noticed how through the mostly gray, cloudy sky, there was a place in which the sun was illuminating a rock face on the South Island, making it look as though it was glowing. Pretty cool, I thought. As I got up to head back to the house, I saw that there was yet another rainbow out over the sea and the tears started to flow again. How will I manage without my morning walks and my rainbows? How will I manage to feel my soul filled up when I don’t have all the sources of beauty around me to which I’ve become so accustomed? Why right now, when we are beginning to feel like this is a place we really belong, do we have to leave? In some ways it seems so wrong. In others it is what has to be for now. There is so much I love at home as well.

The last few weeks have been all about living the Kiwi life as best we can. We have taken long walks and bike rides on the beach; gone to hear our dear friend, Melissa’s band play at a birthday party at Memorial Hall in Paekakariki; taken the family to Friday night Kapahaka dancing (traditional Maori singing and dancing held every Friday night at Memorial Hall); gone to a local cinema to see a NZ movie called “Second Hand Wedding,” featuring our very own Kapiti Coast and co-starring our very own yoga instructor, Tina; gone to a going away dinner thrown by some new Kiwi friends of ours where we ate, laughed, and played pool; helped our dear friend, Jennifer celebrate her 38th birthday among heaps of friends; and attended numerous weekend soccer games for our kids. All of this has made us feel a real part of this community, making it ever harder for me to leave. I’m so grateful for the love, warmth, and welcome that everyone has shown us here. I’m grateful for what I’ve been reminded of----that life doesn’t have to be a rat race and that the most important things in life are the simple things. Family, time to relax, being close to the beauty of nature, and spending time with loved ones.

While I know that it’s up to me to create and nurture the things that feed my soul, I also know that it will take lots more work to find and keep connections with those things back in our wonderful, but busy and relatively far from nature lives back home. I am coming face to face with a basic fact of life----that in order to experience joy, we must also experience sadness and loss. I’m grateful that I am brave enough to seek the joy despite the knowledge of the sadness that will surely follow. I’m grateful to my loving and supportive family and friends for loving me through it all.

So that’s the blog I was avoiding writing. There you have it. And now we put our chins up, enjoy the last few days, and begin focusing on all the wonderful people and things we have to go back to. Did I mention our life there isn’t half bad either?


Pictures in the entry are of 1. family last sunday morning on a beach bike ride near our house, 2. one of the many rainbows we've seen from our front door, 3. inside the cinema where we saw the local Kiwi movie last weekend, 4. friends at Jennifer's birthday party last weekend, 5. sunset over the sea--view from Jennifer and Michael's front window

Abby's First Blog Entry!!!

Hey everyone!! This is Abby!! I just wanted to say, I am so excited about going home but I will really miss this place!! I am so looking forward to coming home to my friends and family! I also have lots of friends here!! Some of them include: Ohaora Smith, (Aholda) Mya Packman, Tess Packman, Naomi Berger, Jennifer, Finlay Harris, (she is a girl) Jasmine G., Jessica Armstrong, Jaimie, Alice, Maggie, jazzy fizzle, (jasmine), and so many others that I will miss when I leave here. My school only has 150 people in it. There are 2 different schools inside of the Paekakariki School. There is a junior block and a senior block. The junior block includes years 1-4. The senior block includes years 4-8. I am a year 6. ( so I basically skipped 2 grades when I got here.)

My teacher's name is Mr. Reid!!! He is really nice!!!!!!! I love my school and I will miss it here!! P.S. if Mrs. S. is reading this, I know that you try your hardest to make things fun for us and you often do. I know that if you could, you would let us do even more fun, but educational things!! They don't have as many rules here in NZ. I love all of the special things in New Zealand and I hope that sometime in your lives you too will get to live this amazing experience! I hope you guys liked what I wrote today! Bye guys!!!!

Desolation and Pinnacles

For what is likely to be the last of our travels outside the Paekakariki/Wellington area during this particular stay in New Zealand, we decided to keep it relatively close to home and relatively unpretentious....so on a whim and with very little planning, we took off Saturday around noon, after gallivanting around the Kapiti Coast to various soccer games (yes, they call it soccer here). By now the rental car guy in Paraparaumu knows us by first name, so that part was easy. Finding a place to stay at our destination, Cape Palliser, was also easy...there's about only one place to stay, and it turns out we were the only ones staying at the Gateway Motels and Holiday Park in Lake Ferry on Saturday night. I (Jim) guess it is a gateway to something, maybe the Cape? Even the owners weren't there, they having decided to get away for the weekend to the far more glitzy town of Napier and leaving the almost empty motel in the hands of their friend, LeAnn, who happens to be the former owner of the Gateway Motel and Holiday Park. But she doesn't live there and so we were, in fact, the only people there. "Just stay as long as you want tomorrow," she said. "The owners won't be home till late and you're the only ones here, so make yourselves at home. Call me if you need anything," she said, handing us a little piece of paper with her name and phone number on it. "I love this country," I replied. And I do. She left us saying that if any one knocked on our door looking for a room we should give her a call.

This all transpired at about 2pm after our 2 hour drive over windy roads to get there. Only 37 more kilometers to our real destination (a place without hotels or even campgrounds)....Cape Palliser, the southernmost point on New Zealand's North Island, where the Tasman Sea meets the Pacific Ocean, where hardcore surfers come to catch some of the best waves in New Zealand, and where, reportedly, more fur seals choose to breed than in any other part of the North Island. The scenery ain't half bad either. After much oooh-ing and ahhhh-ing as we drove the (again) narrow, windy road from Lake Ferry (population about 300) to Cape Palliser (population around nil), we finally arrived at the famous Cape Palliser lighthouse perched high up on a cliff, a perfect vantage point for keeping a watchful eye on boats sailing upon both great bodies of salt water. This lighthouse is famous for its 250 steep steps leading up to it...which of course the kids counted as we climbed just to see if it's true---it is! The view from the top is magical...particularly at sunset, which is when we were there. On one side the sun was setting as high in the sky the nearly full moon was rising. Apparently someone else thought it was magical, because during the short 15 minutes we were up there, a young man got down on his knee and asked a young woman to marry him. Abby was thrilled by this dramatic moment, needless to say!

We ate dinner back at the Lake Ferry Hotel, the only watering hole for many kilometers around. Good food and back to our solitary little self-contained unit, which wasn't half bad for the US$77/night we paid for it! It even had a wood burner in the "master" bedroom, which we promptly lit to keep us from freezing our little toes off. Among the many things we have loved while here in NZ are the many cozy nights we've had together as a family in one accommodation or another...usually very clean, inexpensive, cold, and always providing togetherness. Last night was pure luxury, as the kids had a TV at their disposal with shelves full of movies to choose from. They watched Jurassic Park until David got scared and then he and I headed into the other room to curl up in his bed and watch Racing Stripes (much more my speed) on my computer. Simple pleasure.

The morning dawned quiet, cold, and clear as a bell and, as we often are, we were greeted by birdsong (this happens at our own house in Paekakariki as well). Jim woke up really early (for here)to see if he could find some birds at the Lake Ferry spit. All he found was some fisherman who had been there for hours and some really cold weather. Cool desolation, too. After a special breakfast of bacon and eggs, we piled on the layers, piled into the car, and drove back toward Cape Palliser to go on a tramp to a place called the Putangirua Pinnacles. A steep, 1 hour tramp up a streambed and then up the side of the deep canyon led us to a spectacular overlook where we gawked at the unusual and spectacular rock formations....not hard to see why they call them pinnacles. Tall, skinny towers of all shapes and sizes were apparently formed by the rain pounding down on and then running down through the limestone for the past several million years. I (Carolyn) have seen formations something like this in Southern Utah, but those were made of reddish sandstone. These looked like piles of rubble more than anything and it's hard to see how they don't just come tumbling down at the slightest wind or rain. Nature is amazing.

The day ended with a good laugh and lots of talk about things New Zealand as we took what we thought was going to be a way home that was a bit shorter and less winding than the way we'd come over....only to find ourselves on a 30km (posted at 70) one lane road that wound up and down through mountains and valleys, precarious curves with no visibility, no guardrails and no shoulders between you and the vertical drop off into the canyon below. Quite often there was no second lane, either. It was getting late in the afternoon and so we didn't have much time to stop at the Staglands Wildlife Reserve we'd wanted to visit along that road. No big deal, we thought...we'll come back next weekend. By the time we were safely down on the Sea side (our side) of the mountains and back onto two lane roads, we both decided that we can skip that wildlife center....we're not going back on that road anytime soon. We're (or I am) turning gray fast enough, thank you...no need for more help with that. As I (Jim) said to Carolyn, "the locals must think that they can see through rock the way the fly around the corners." Honestly, if I hadn't stopped on the side of the road we would have no back of the car or a very, very close view of the cliff face or both!

As our time of departure draws near, we're all struggling not to feel sad. After all, we have 2 1/2 more weeks and have had the most fabulous time. I feel quite certain we are all changed by it in our own ways. Stay tuned for our planned trip to Manawatu, an estuary that is world renown for its birds. I wonder who suggested we do that trip!

So What's the Big Deal?

As of 5/15/08 there are some new thoughts at the end!

I imagine that when reading these blogs, that many/most/all who read it have a hard time believing that what we are expressing can be true. Is this just simply about being in a new place and away from the normal stressers of life? Certainly the pictures are beautiful and the stories interesting, but is it really all it's cracked up to be? I guess I don't know, for sure, but there are a number of differences that make what we are experiencing both wonderful and irreplaceable. So, with this difference in mind, Carolyn and I began to make a list of these things that are things we've taken to calling "typical Kiwi." The following list is not exhaustive nor in any particular order and will be added to periodically, so you may want to come back to this blog once in awhile. Some have already been mentioned in other blogs.

1) Language - Yes, they speak English, but a true Kiwi is sometimes very hard for me to understand. Although I have been told here that I talk too fast (that's also true in the states when I'm excited, for sure), I cannot, for the life of me, understand more than 50% of a phone message. In fact, there have been a few that I have given up on because it is just too frustrating.

2) The Toilet (Carolyn things that bathrooms in general are a good place to begin when trying to get a feel for a new culture) - We call them bathrooms. They are everywhere in this country. They must have more public toilets per capita than any other place in the world. They are clean, always well-stocked, and in virtually every town we have come to. If a town doesn't have one you are welcome to use one in the restaurants and cafes. One that I used today in Paraparumu Beach had a check list of the things that were cleaned and when. They cleaned the toilet at 6:00 AM. The items checked were commode, wash basin, floor, walls, and CEILING. Yes, they washed the ceiling. I should have taken a picture of the check list for this blog, but didn't. You'll have to trust me. In case you are wondering, the toilet paper was stocked in the PM, no specific time given. Oh, the toilet flushed automatically, the sink came on automatically, the soap came on automatically, and the hand dryer came on automatically. Their were no paper towels, it's a waste. They can also flush in two ways. One side of the button is to flush pee, it uses less water, the other uses more water. It makes a lot of sense.

3) Playgrounds - they have what I consider the most dangerous playground item ever invented. We think it's called the flying something-or-other, but I would name it the child decapitator. It is dangerous in itself because the child is raised above the ground and spinning around, but the real danger is that little kids seem not to be able to see the decapitator coming as they gleefully race closer to the thing to see what the other kids are doing! I have seen at least two children get hit so hard by this thing that I couldn't understand how they got up. I exaggerate, but it scared me to watch the hits happen. The picture speaks for itself. Kiwis in general are more sensible and less PC about things that could cause injury, and in most ways this is refreshing. Playgrounds still have seesaws, for example (read...fewer lawyers and less lucrative lawsuits). I loved those growing up. We sue, they don't - therefore we no longer have the seesaw, they do (you can see one end of one to the left in the picture.

4) Driving - they are on the left, as you know. This is the easy part. The more challenging thing is the abundance of windy roads with no guardrails. I'm pretty sure Kiwis simply don't believe in them...wimpy. No lawsuits is probably another part of it! Every now and then, on a REALLY windy road, you may see something that resembles a guardrail, but it's really made from fishing line and bamboo poles or something very much like it! We believe these rails are probably designed to keep the sheep (not the people) from getting killed.

5) Electricity - there are switches on the plugs so you can turn them off is you are not using them. They look just like the light switches here, so there is no confusion. It's also 240, so if you get something stuck in one of those you're pretty much dead. Guess how many times we've thought we were making toast only to come back from making something else to find that the bread is still bread.

6) Food - a friend of ours calls this the a-la-carte country. You have to order everything separately. For example, in order to get fish and chips, you must order fish and chips. If you order fish you get fish, if you order chips you get chips (French fries). In most of the places you pay before you get your food. There is no tipping, unless you get incredibly exceptional service, and there are no added taxes. So, if you order fish and chips for 12.5 (12.50), that is exactly what it costs. So, when you first come here it seems like food is expensive, I'll write about that in a minute, but it isn't really when you add up what it would have been in the U.S. (they call it America, but they can't tell you why). Did I say you usually have to pay for ketchup (which isn't good anyway, so you really don't want it) and things like plastic ware? Once you get used to it, it's really quite sensible (see, there's that word again), as it keeps you from having 5,000 extra ketchups and salt packets shoved in your food bag that you then throw away! Kiwis tend to be pretty conservation focused as a lot.

7) Grocery stores - there are only really about 3 store chains, Pak-N-Sav, Woolworth's (no, not the dime store), and New World. Although there isn't any scarcity of items, there is the mentality that if they are out of an items this week then come back next week if it is important to you. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Produce is very fresh and very affordable. Other items are variable in terms of costs. Mostly, when I first came here, I thought all the food was outrageously expensive. Now I've rethought it. First off, it's so much fresher and wholesome than we get. I believe they don't actually stuff all of their foods with corn additives (read "fill them up cheaply"!) like we do. You get produce that's in season, so it's always good, but not always available. Did I mention "sensible"???

8) Gas - Wow, I figured out today that it is about $7.00/gallon NZ. That's just under $6.00.gallon U.S. We don't drive very often if we don't have to. In fact, we borrow a car from some friends once in awhile, but don't use one more than once or twice a week. We rent a car for the other occasions when we need one at about $40.00 NZ plus gas. When we shop (read Carolyn ,thank you dear) we try to get enough for the week or we have friends pick items up for us as we do for them. It's a great way to go, I think. Sensible.

9) Sports - Rugby, Rugby, Rugby, Cricket, Soccer and Netball. Did I mention Rugby? I'm sure they have basketball, but I have not heard anything about it. Last Friday night we went see the Wellington Hurricanes rugby team play in the second to last regular season game (last home game). It was a must win for them. If they won, they were assured a semi-final spot in the playoffs. It was a blast, though very cold, windy, and raining, which is pretty typical this time of year. We sat in the family seats, which means we were sort of under cover but not really. Layers and waterproofing were the name of the game. WestPac Stadium seats 35,000, but there weren't more than 20,000 there. The Hurricanes are a pretty good team. They beat their opponents, Western Force from Perth, Australia. I'm used to seeing 60 guys on the field or on the sideline in American football, but these teams only carry 22 players. Interesting, too, for this league, is that each team is made up of hometown boys. It is not made up of recruited players who get traded around as it is for our pro teams.

Speaking of local sports, the kids all had their first soccer game yesterday, playing for the Paekakariki local teams. No pictures of Abby because the camera man stayed with the home team. I don't understand Cricket at all, so I won't try to explain it, even if I could.

10) T.V. - nobody has watched T.V. since they have been here, except on the few nights when we stayed in a real hotel (as opposed to a simple youth hostel type place) on our travels. What little Kiwi television I have seen has been pretty...hmmm...hard to explain. I watched Wheel of Fortune Kiwi style and was amazed by how low the money values were. There was one game I watched when the highest dollar value you could win was $500.00. I haven't watched it in the U.S. for a long time, but the minimum was $500.00. I like the lower one. There are so many things to do OUTSIDE that they kids have never felt the need or desire to watch T.V. We are seriously considering getting rid of the cable at the lake and just have movies. That's what they like the best anyway.

10) Weather and other sort of related things- Weather here is a spectator sport. It is NEVER idle conversation. When they talk about the weather, which is literally unpredictable, the meteorological talk is about lows, highs, southerlies, wave fronts, winds (which have been huge), etc. There are a number of people who rely heavily on the weather for their livelihood... and for surfing, of course. The cloudbursts are legendary, though I have not seen any here like the ones I saw in Texas, though there are more than enough stories from trusted Kiwis to know that Texas storms come close, but not quite all the way. Don't worry Texas, you still beat NZ in the tornado department. Not with earthquakes, however. I'll just say that you can go to a NZ website that shows you where all the rumbles have been for the day. Also, when you first work in a place they inform you of the evacuation area in case of a quake.

I have seen more rainbows in my time here than I can remember seeing in my life. These are not just rainbows that you can see only part of like every other rainbow I have seen. There have numerous occasions when I have wanted to stoop down and pick up the pot of gold... on both ends of the rainbow. Pretty incredible.

11) Insects and other multi-legged things- Well, not quite. First, there are no snakes here. Also, if I remember correctly, there is only one poisonous spider and it is rare. There are no native mammals, everything here has been imported. Possums, stoats, rabbits, sheep (12 million), cows, horses, rats, mice, etc. There are now lots of all of them. The first couple of species were brought here by the English so that they could feel more at home here and so they could hunt. They now spend millions of dollars a year attempting to eradicate them. It turns out that these hometown mammals are destroying the crops and the native bird species. If you recall from another entry, we have to heat our house with wood because they don't have central heat or very much insulation. We also don't have screens because, it is said, there are no insects here - besides the flies, bees, moths, and the most frustrating biting insects I have had the chance to encounter. We need screens when it is warm! Mosquito bites are not really much fun ( I haven't gotten any here), but the itching goes away fairly quickly. The sand flea bites leave what look and feel like permanent bumps that each itch in-di-vid-u-ally. Fortunately they only itch at night when your trying to go to sleep. The fleas are probably the only negative I will take away with me on this trip, though, in the grand scheme of things, that's not really that bad.

So, that's all I can think of for now, but I know there are many others to come. Of course, the themes for most of our blogs have been the incredible beauty, literally at every turn and over every hill, the kindness and the patience of the people, and the low stress life that can be led here. We thought you might appreciate a little culture this time!

Home is Where you are.

I have been thinking a lot about a lot of things, but most specifically about the memorial service for my dad. I haven't quite thought of all that I want to say yet, so that will come soon. It is amazing how far away it feels. Maybe because I am far away. I have recently been thinking about him and about the family. I'll get back to you.

Today's blog from me (Jim) is video viewing. This entry is a tour of the house as requested by my sister, Dee. I will also be entering a video of a Tui with a couple of pictures on another entry. This video is about 6 minutes, so if you are not interested in the house, don't watch. It's not terribly exciting, but it will help give everyone a sense of our nest here. I hope you enjoy the video as much as we enjoy this house. There is a coziness and familiarity about it that helps me (and us) to feel comfortable being in our home away from home. Today it is a beautiful, sunny day with a temperature of 60 degrees Fahrenheit (15 Celsius). There has recently been a bunch (heaps) of rain, which has been welcome because they were in a little drought. We also had a very cold night the other night for a house without central heat. People adjust and burn everything that should and can be burned. Here, if they can't save the wood to reuse from a demolished structure they will cut it up into burnable sizes. It seems like a great way to reduce waste, save the environment, and put less stuff in the landfills. It's a far cry from the early days here when they cut down every tree in sight, it seems, so they could pack things up to send back to England. They are slowly replanting.

Anyway, enjoy the video.

Rough Crossing

For the fifth and final day of our South Island Trip #2, I believe I'll let pictures tell the story. In a word...rough! Sick inside, freezing and blown away outside. Note the juxtaposition between David's delight and the girls'---well---lack of delight! Suffice it to say we got home after a wonderful trip with our wonderful friends. No fighting among five kids, lots of great sights, laughter, food, hikes, and relaxation. Again, we are blessed and grateful!

Pupu Springs, Tata Beach and Winding Winding Roads

Another day in paradise, another day filled with new sights and sounds. And another day with a very slow internet connection!

Morning #2 in our cozy little mountain chalet overlooking the Tasman Sea dawned cold and cloudy, but nothing that would stop us from the day's adventures. Yesterday was about one long, spectacular hike in Abel Tasman National Park under a crystal clear sky. Today was about exploring multiple out of the way places (recommended to us by our Kiwi friend Keith Johnston, who knows every nook and cranny of this country) from Abel Tasman north to Golden Bay, a route which winds its way from sparsely populated country to down right desolate country! The road began winding up over Takaka Hill from the moment we left our base camp at Marahau. Up, up, up and more up, hairpin turns like I've never seen. In the daylight hours we found this spectacular, but the return trip in the dark at day's end was mostly just a fast route to motion sickness! But the views....spectacular!

Over the 55 km between Marahau and the Golden Bay urban center (I use the term loosely) of Takaka, we stopped for two short hikes to breathe the clean cold air and take in the breathtaking views...to the East, Tasman Bay and to the West, Golden Bay. By the time we reached Takaka, we were hungry and in need of morning tea (which doesn't have to include actual tea at all, but is a catch all for the time when Kiwis stop to drink something and catch their breath and perhaps a snack sometime between breakfast and lunch). A quick trip to pick up supplies for tonight's dinner and we were off again, this time for a stop at Pupu Springs, the largest freshwater springs in Australasia and reportedly the source of the world's clearest water. I'm not sure how they measure "clearest" but I can safely say I've never seen any water even remotely that clear. And, having spent my early years hiking in the backcountry of Wyoming and Montana, I can say that I have a pretty high bar when it comes to clarity of my water! Pupu Springs, like many special places in NZ, is a sacred place for the Maori people. The thing that struck us most of all was the fact that this place is OFF LIMITS for any kind of tampering whatsoever! How is it possible that this clearest of all waters on earth hasn't been exploited for profit? New Zealand is pretty good at this stuff.

Next stop...the VERY off the beaten path Grove Scenic Reserve. The 30 minute round trip walk took us through some of the most fascinating landscape and fauna I've ever seen. Dominated by limestone, this small reserve is home to so many interesting rock formations that it reminded me of a sculpture garden. Nooks, crannies, and climbing rocks galore, much to the delight of the children. Naomi discovered that the rock walls are loaded with fossils, and the kids proceeded to identify one after the other.

As the grey day turned to grey late afternon, we pressed on in an attempt to cover Keith Johnston's "Best of Golden Bay" list. Five kids and a leisurely pace prevented us from seeig them all, but we ended the day on the, again very cold, but spectacular Tata Beach. The steep hills roll right down to the sea, interesting shells lie in wait for the taking, and limestone rock formations beckon to the children..."climb me...now!" Knowing that our time there would lead to a winding return in the dark, we tarried anyway. The problem with beautiful places is that they're hard to leave.

Speaking of which, David, who is always most attached to the place where is he is right now (wherever that happens to be) ended the evening crying because he doesn't want to leave this place. I think if we let him, he'd stay here in this cabin forever. But tomorrow we sail back across the Cook Strait back to that other beautiful place...the one where we currently live. Not bad.